Monthly Archives: April 2014

From Where I Sit

perspect2

1. a.A view or vista.

b. A mental view or outlook

2. The appearance of objects in depth as perceived by normal binocular vision.

3.a. The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole

b. Subjective evaluation of relative significance; a point of view

c. The ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance

 

 

I’m going to start out making some things very clear, at least to those of you who are not simpletons or already know everything by default. I don’t know Ben Radford very well. I actually met him because of his dispute with Karen Stollznow. In a post defending himself against Karen Stollznow Ben Radford mentioned the following regarding me

Baxter also states explicitly that Karen falsely accused one of his friends of making inappropriate sexual advances toward her in April 2010: “One time, in the heat of “things,” I mentioned that it would have been hot to see her with another man. She flipped out. Throughout the relationship she claims that I keep bringing it up but in reality she has been the one to keep talking about it. The renegade radio host “Reap” has made fun of me for admitting that that sort of thing can be sexy in the past. While Karen was talking with Reap after SkeptiCal, I received a text that Reap had just propositioned her based on this “interest” of mine. Reap then contacted me and asked why Karen was such a fucking psycho. She had blurted it out to him that I had this interest and he tried to make light of it. His girlfriend witnessed the whole thing. Karen passionately stands by her story that he brought it up. I still find that highly unlikely…”

I think it is important to make the following point- That is an accurate account of events. I will however expand on it a little bit because I have seen Karen claiming to have been a innocent victim but from my experience Karen is not the type to be a victim. She will do/say anything needed to keep from taking responsibility and she is vindictive. Karen does not like to be turned down. I reach this conclusion from personal experience

 

I have known Matt Baxter for about 7 years and at one time considered him a close friend. I harbor no ill will towards him. I had only known Karen a short time, maybe a year or two when the following story took place.

 

After Skepti-Cal a group of us met at a local bar for drinks. Karen, myself, and my girlfriend at the  time were seated at one end of the group. At one point Karen said to me out of the blue that her boyfriend (now husband) would like to watch her and I having sex. Of course I  knew her boyfriend and considered him a good friend. I also knew there was little chance of such a thing ending well and so instead of saying “no way” I just made light of the proposition and attempted to carry on with the conversation. Karen was having none of it . She made a couple more remarks trying to persuade me but I just let them slide and tried to change the subject. The instant she realized I was not going to take her up on the offer she had made she became confrontational to say the least. She became visibly angry with me. I moved to another table to try and diffuse the situation. She then shouted names at me across the table several times. She was obviously pissed and I would assume a bit drunk.

Karen continued to grow more and more abusive towards me. At times she would get directly in my face to talk shit. Finally my girlfriend and Karen went outside to talk in hopes things could be smoothed out a bit . Instead Karen began accusing me of being abusive towards my girlfriend. This couldn’t have been further from the truth. My girlfriend confronted Karen about her claims denying there was any truth to them and was told by Karen to “Fuck off”

At this point Karen was completely out of control. She was fighting with Baxter on the phone, screaming shit at me, and it seemed no one could get her to chill the fuck out. Finally Karen approached us and informed us she was going to take off with someone else and said something to the effect of “you can go to hell”.  My interaction with Karen during this entire event was defending myself from her accusations and nothing more. I did not call her names get in her face or argue with her about any other subject.

The following day I called Baxter because I wanted to see if he could provide some insight into what the hell had happened and to make sure there was no misunderstanding about my part in things. During my phone call to Baxter I informed him it was my opinion that his girlfriend was a psycho and possibly an insane maniac. Baxter informed me that Karen had accused me of propositioning her and had pretty much gave me all the credit for the events the night before. I told Baxter that what Karen had told him was a complete lie and he told me he didn’t believe Karen’s version of events. He then went on to explain to me that Karen had some issues that needed to be dealt with. Some of these could best be treated with medication which Karen was not taking at the time. I assume this to be true since I have no reason to think Baxter would lie, he has no history of doing so. Baxter also told me he was trying to get Karen some help with her issues and wanted to work with her on their relationship.

Because Baxter was a good friend of mine I left the issue alone. He clearly had strong feelings for Karen and was optimistic they could work things out. Although I was pissed Karen had been blurting out bullshit about me and had attempted to turn my friend against me rather than accept the fact I was not willing to follow her directions I saw no need to keep the dispute going or publicly sharing my side of things. I told Baxter as long as Karen kept her mouth shut and no more lies were told I would drop it.

Since that evening Baxter has informed me Karen does not want him to have anything to do with me. If he does it causes an argument between them so we no longer keep in contact. Like I said there are no hard feelings between us. Although I am a bit disappointed in his involvement with Karen’s claim to be a “pure victim” and what appears to be an attempt to play a role for monetary gain.  Karen also has made no contact with my girlfriend or myself. She has never attempted to explain or apologize for any of the things she said or did. I find this very interesting as most people at least attempt to resolve or explain when they act out in such a way.

Baxter did contact me to ask about a link to Karen’s appearance on my podcast in May of 2010. I updated the podcast link so she could use it in her bio per his request. It has since been removed.

At this point I would like to make it clear I am in no way saying that Karen Stollznow or Ben Radford are innocent or guilty of anything involving their relationship. I wasn’t there, I don’t know anything about it.  All I am doing is sharing an experience I had with Karen Stollznow.

Having said that. Personally, I would question anything that Karen Stollznow says. She obviously has the ability to fabricate whatever story she needs to in order to avoid taking responsibility for her actions. She also does not deal well with rejection. It has in the past caused her to have a meltdown in public. I think it is safe to assume it was not the first time she has acted out in such a way. In my opinion, I find it hard to believe that Karen is an innocent victim of Ben Radford’s. I would find it more likely the other way around. I certainly did nothing to deserve the treatment I received from Karen. I was a victim of hers as were the others who had to deal with her tantrum.

If anyone needs to know, my main reasons for writing this are to

  • make clear my role in events and relationship to those involved
  • balance perspectives that may have been swayed by misrepresentation

It does not really matter to me which side wins the argument between Ben and Karen so anyone who wants to claim I am biased should keep that in mind. It bothers me to even need to write this because I would have rather just left it alone.

Edit 5/3/2014 

added comment

I was Reaps girlfriend at the time, and felt the need to speak up on his behalf. I was sitting with him through the entire conversation. I was the designated driver, so I noticed karen was tipsy, and from what I remember she was drinking hard cider. I remember her talking about her boyfriends fetish, and it seemed personal but I considered it was the alcohol talking. She became more vocal and agitated about her boyfriend, she is the one that told Reap that he was the person her boyfriend wanted her to be with. Reap said he wanted no part in it. She became more belligerent and wanting to end the discussion persuaded her to step outside. She never spoke of Reap having any sexual conversations with her at any time. She then announced he was an asshole, and left with another party. She was extremely intoxicated, and I feel her recollection is muddied due to alcohol.

 

Sidenote- I think it is safe to assume some individuals may take it upon themselves to twist this account into something that fits their preconceived notions about people without bothering to learn the facts first.  It is pathetic that I would need to have such a concern considering a majority of those people claim to be skeptics when the fact of the matter is they have become what they hate. In my opinion It would be more productive if they would focus on the common beliefs and values they have with others. If they would work to educate from a position of mutual respect built from a relationship based on those things we have in common instead of accusing and attacking without knowing any facts it would be far more productive. It would also display a level of maturity previously missing from the crusade to achieve “social justice” at any cost while waving the flag of ignorance and hypocrisy.