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Things Creationists Hate
Hypatia
Things Creationists Hate (Sung to the tune of My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music)

Thermodynamics and closing the system,
DNA helix and techs that can twist 'em,
Egyptian history without a flood break,
These are the things that creationists hate.

Wallace and Darwin and Einstein and Hawking
Asimov, Sagan and Shermer - how shocking!
Eldrige and Gould and their colleagues to date :
These are the people creationists hate.

People who know how to work with statistics,
Fossils that flesh out the map of cladistics,
Models that show how the genomes mutate,
These are the things that creationists hate.

When the fundies
Purge the textbooks,
And the schools beset,
I mention the things that creationists hate,
And that gets them all upset!

Hate the scien-
tific method;
Made up their own way :
"You must take as fact the bible
Or at least the parts we say!"

There are more species than one ark could carry,
Lightspeed inside of a vacuum won't vary,
Isotopes melt at a consistent rate,
These are the things that creationists hate.

Transitional fossils that show speciation,
Galapagos finches and random mutation,
Isotopic decay at predictable rates,
These are the things that creationists hate.

The orbit of planets is heliocentric,
Science and reason are now epidemic,
God's love to me seems a bit more like hate,
These are the things that creationists hate.

Pagan witches,
Darwin fishes
Seem to make them mad.
So they just cling to their bibles and shout
"Everything else iiiiiis bad!"

Fossil records,
Plate tectonics,
Make them really blue.
But if they relied on their mythos for food,
They wouldn't know what to do!

Well before Darwin, geologists began
Establishing that the earth's much older than
Jim Usher said, and that science refuses
To yield up the proof of a flood for the pews.

Physics has all those embarrassing laws,
Like rates of decay for the isotopes. Cause
Of the rainbow is really refraction of light,
They twist it to prove the great Book - that ain't right.

Old-Earthers think the Young-Earthers too zealous,
Young-Earthers think the Old-Earthers bad fellas.
Seeking the ark, they make trips down to Turk-
ey, each says the other's obstructing their work.

Noah's shi-ip
Seems to sli-ip
Past discovery.
Dozens say that they've found it,
But yet no recovery!

Author Unknown.
 
Doubting Thomas
Clever.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.
 
Hypatia
I think it is too. Too bad the author didn't give him/herself credit.

But perhaps it was written by someone who's 'in the closet', or just doesn't want to get the hate mail.
 
Bob of QF
I'm so gonna post that over on Topix.... Too Cool!

You want credit?
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes

Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing.
 
Hypatia
Not necessarily, unless you want to say it was posted here.
 
derF
Alex Pryce posted this on the Atheist site on You Tube. It is absolutely hilarious. Would sure like to know who wrote it though.
I'll drink to that. Or anything else for that matter.
 
Bob of QF
Hypatia wrote:
Not necessarily, unless you want to say it was posted here.


Posted away, in Evolution forum and Atheist forum.

I even posted a link...who knows? Maybe it'll generate some much-needed traffic.

Smile
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes

Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing.
 
Hypatia
Very cool - good going. =)
 
Doubting Thomas
Kind of like "Kissing Hank's Ass," it's very clever but we'll never know who the person was who wrote it.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.
 
Bob of QF
According to here:

http://www.experi...ist/628113, the author was someone named "Lee"
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes

Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing.
 
Hypatia
Oh wow Bob! It's so great that you found that!! Thanks for that.
 
Sinny
I saw a video to this on YT with the man singing it. I'm pretty sure it's the same words. I must look to see if I can find it again.
 
derF
Sinny if you find it post a link for us.
I'll drink to that. Or anything else for that matter.
 
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