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 Villanelle To A Sperm Donor
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| Kowboy |
Posted on 01/23/2011 23:25
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 Active Member  Posts: 291 Joined: 09/20/2008 |
Creative Writing class this semester and I've got a villanelle due on Wednesday morning. I'm a villanelle virgin, but please don't be gentle: Your bio donation compensated by fee Turkey baster, timing, conception wrought Pay for what I’ve done so often for free My nephew’s birth has brought great joy to me As anxious lesbian mothers are fraught Your bio donation compensated by fee Perfectly recessive genes have to be Aunt Lynn’s crooked fingers perfectly caught Pay for what I’ve done so often for free His smile an explosion, big as a tree Your genetic fight has not been for naught Your bio donation compensated by fee He’s five now and swordfights fill me with glee Hot Wheels and snow fights all being taught Pay for what I’ve done so often for free Lives changed with your generosity Ironically a joy that can’t be bought Your bio donation compensated by fee Pay for what I’ve done so often for free |
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| Skeeve |
Posted on 01/23/2011 23:37
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  Posts: 2741 Joined: 08/01/2008 |
Gonna have to Google villanelle |
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| Theory_Execution |
Posted on 01/24/2011 13:33
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Senior Member  Posts: 1478 Joined: 08/30/2008 |
Hmmmmm, 1a 2b 3a 4a 5b 1a 6a 7b 3a 8a 9b 1a 10a 11b 3a 12c 13b 1a 3a Nope, means nothing to me that. |
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| Bob of QF |
Posted on 01/25/2011 14:03
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 Senior Member Posts: 1791 Joined: 08/04/2008 |
The letters represent the rhyming sequence, but say nothing about the length of each phrase (may not matter for a villanelle) I.e. for a Hiku, you don't have to rhyme at all, but you must use 5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again in a common theme. In any case, the first set must contain 3 lines, rhyming at the end with the first and last lines, the middle is something else: 1a 2b 3a The next set of 3 lines, repeats the same pattern as the first set: 4a 5b 1a, and so on. But it appears a tad more complex than that, with the repetition of the "1a" for line 6, so... Wiki says: The villanelle has no established meter, although most 19th-century villanelles have used trimeter or tetrameter and most 20th-century villanelles have used pentameter. The essence of the fixed modern form is its distinctive pattern of rhyme and repetition. The rhyme-and-refrain pattern of the villanelle can be schematized as A1bA2 abA1 abA2 abA1 abA2 abA1A2 where letters ("a" and "b"  indicate the two rhyme sounds, upper case indicates a refrain ("A", and superscript numerals (1 and 2) indicate Refrain 1 and Refrain 2.Okay, they want a total-line repeat, not just the ending rhyme. Hmmm.... I shoulda read the main-sequence entry in Wiki first.... it's actually meant to be sung, which explains well, it's repetitive nature. A villanelle is a poetic form which entered English-language poetry in the 19th century from the imitation of French models.[1] The word derives from the Italian villanella from Latin villanus (rustic).[2] A villanelle has only two rhyme sounds. The first and third lines of the first stanza are rhyming refrains that alternate as the third line in each successive stanza and form a couplet at the close. A villanelle is nineteen lines long, consisting of five tercets and one concluding quatrain.[3] In music, it is a dance form, accompanied by sung lyrics or an instrumental piece based on this dance form.[ --------------- I'm not a fan of poetry, but I do enjoy analysis...
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes
Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing. |
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| Bob of QF |
Posted on 01/25/2011 14:06
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Senior Member Posts: 1791 Joined: 08/04/2008 |
Kowboy: Not bad-- you fit the rules, as near as I can tell. And you managed to tell a little story while doing it, as all good ballads should. I presume you are not required to create music, too?   Your rhythm would work with song, if you needed it to. I'd say, not bad-- but then I'm hardly a jaded expert, when it comes to poetry. But, because I'm acquainted with you as a person? I'm positively biased in your favor-- I tend to be that way. I appreciate amateur effort, regardless. Edited by Bob of QF on 01/25/2011 14:06 Quantum Junction: Use both lanes
Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing. |
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| Kowboy |
Posted on 01/27/2011 21:42
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Active Member Posts: 291 Joined: 09/20/2008 |
Bob of QF: Thanks. Here's the final version of my Villanelle and Pantoum: Villanelle To A Sperm Donor Bio donation compensated by fee turkey baster, timing, conception wrought. Payment for what I do often for free. My nephew’s birth has brought great joy to me while anxious lesbian mother is fraught. Bio donation compensated by fee. Thankfully recessive genes are to be; Aunt Lynn’s crooked fingers perfectly caught. Payment for what I do often for free. His smile an explosion, big as a tree your genetic fight has not been for naught. Bio donation compensated by fee. He’s five now and swordfights fill me with glee “the claw”, chasing, teasing and tickling taught. Payment for what I do so often for free. Lives changed by your generosity, ironically a joy that can’t be bought. Bio donation compensated by fee. Payment for what I do so often for free. If Only I Were Smarter If only I were smarter school would be a breeze. Would mathematicians barter for some literature please? School would be a breeze I could satiate my fix. For some literature please a harmless verbose kick I could satiate my fix brain transplants aren’t done yet. A harmless verbose kick I’d be in a surgeon’s debt. Brain transplants aren’t done yet I will not give up hope I’d be in a surgeon’s debt. I think that I’ll just mope Longer study does no good. Would mathematicians barter? I’d be happier if I could If only I were smarter. http://en.wikiped...Villanelle http://www.baymoo...antoum.htm |
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| Doubting Thomas |
Posted on 01/30/2011 20:37
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 Senior Member Posts: 1223 Joined: 08/22/2008 |
Here's a haiku I came up with: 6, 9, empty box, empty box, empty box, 3, empty box, 1, empty box. Next line, 2, empty box, empty box, 4, 8... Oh wait, did I say haiku? I meant sodoku. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.
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| Kowboy |
Posted on 01/31/2011 14:44
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Active Member Posts: 291 Joined: 09/20/2008 |
Sonnet Of The Middle Aged Man Why doth mine hair groweth out mine nose, pray tell? Brows grown thickly as the virgin forest. Mine youth saw the cast of no such evil spell; Ears, nose and brows burst as angry chorus, Yield to the skills and tools of mine paid wench; Who leaves not a recurrant shaft untrimmed. May let them grow, as often do the French But wife would have the light of marriage dimmed. What incantation to invoke to spring; Head hair on top and rear lying fallow. Now middle age forlornly taketh wing; As more needless growth awaits the morrow. Mirrored, as tweezers yank I wince in pain; Heavy the price one pays for being vain. |
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| Bob of QF |
Posted on 01/31/2011 18:30
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Senior Member Posts: 1791 Joined: 08/04/2008 |
I like it, Kowboy. But what is not generally known about hair, during middle and old age? It is not so much that it's vanishing, is that it's migrating south. 
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes
Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing. |
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| Kowboy |
Posted on 02/01/2011 23:27
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Active Member Posts: 291 Joined: 09/20/2008 |
Bob of QF wrote: I like it, Kowboy. But what is not generally known about hair, during middle and old age? It is not so much that it's vanishing, is that it's migrating south. Bob of QF: My hair is starting to wave. Goodbye. Revision: Why doth hair groweth out mine nose, pray tell? Brows grow thickly as the virgin forest. Mine youth ne’er saw the cast such evil spell; Ears, nose and brows burst in angry chorus, Yield to the skills and tools of mine paid wench; She leaves not a recurrant shaft untrimmed. May let them grow, as often do the French But wife would have the light of marriage dimmed. What incantation to invoke to spring; Top and rear head hair oer’snowed and fallow. Now middle age forlornly taketh wing; As more needless growth awaits the morrow. Mirrored, as tweezers yank I wince in pain; Enough dear-bought the tribute to the vain. |
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| seeker |
Posted on 02/02/2011 10:42
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  Posts: 2115 Joined: 08/02/2008 |
Kowboy wrote: My hair is starting to wave. Goodbye. Be a glass half full guy, you aren't losing hair, you are getting more head. "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
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| Skeeve |
Posted on 02/28/2012 10:47
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Posts: 2741 Joined: 08/01/2008 |
I blame all of you for encouraging kowboy. 
"The world is my country, and do good is my religion." - Thomas Paine
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