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The Earth Is Stationary
I'm taking an Astronomy class and have to state six proofs the the Earth rotates and three proofs that the earth revolves. I did a little internet searching and found out that this is all mythology. It is a plot by the Copernicans and the Darwinians to undermine God's biblical authority. Boy is my professor ever gonna be shocked that he's been teaching it wrong for thirty years:

***ALL False Science is held together by the weak, Bible-bashing, vulnerable Copernican Lie of a Rotating, Orbiting Earth***

I'm convinced!
I am impressed with the ability of some to completely deny the existence of the world outside the bible. It would, in a way, be wonderful to fully ignore that which exists outside ones beliefs instead of having to examine things from the point of what one can understand.

I need some help in my Astronomy class I'm taking at the local community college. The heathen Copernician/Darwinian professor wants us to parrot his six proofs the earth rotates:

1. Satellites in low earth orbits change position relative to the earth's surface on each pass because the satellite maintains its original path while the earth rotates beneath it.

2. That dang Focault pendulum which, according to the Devil, keeps a fixed direction in space, but the earth rotates beneath it.

3. The oblate spheroid shape of the earth, which is 27 miles less north to south pole than at the equator.

4. Objects really do fall to the East, it's just really hard to measure 'em.

5. The moon approaches us at 600 MPH and recedes at the same rate.

6. All weather formations are rotating - Coriolis forces.

Three proofs the earth revolves around the sun:

1. Stellar parralax - stars make litte loops (again, you've just gotta measure reaaaaal careful).

2. Abberation of starlight - Astronomers must change telescope tilt to compensate for earth's orbit around the sun.

3. Certain stars approach and recede six months later.

I need to refute each and every one of Satan's allegations and I can't do it alone. There's a whole class room full of young folks goin' straight to hell if I can't disprove this nonsense by Tuesday morning.

1. Obvious - the satellites have rockets on them, so they can zoom around the earth.

2. Have you ever stood there and watched one for 24hrs? No, didn't think so, someone snook in and moved it on you.

3. Its flatter at the top and bottom, because it has been resting for so long.

4. Thats just because people are mostly right handed, and when they drop them they give an east bias in momentum.

5. (600mps) + (-600mps) = 0 so its not moving off its circular orbit of the unmoving earth.

6. When the baby Jesus first started the wind, he picked two directions, separated by the equator.

1. You have been drinking too much, thats you rocking back and forth.

2. The suns orbit of the earth is a bit off.

3. Have you ever looked at the stars for six months? If you had you would see the Devil moving them to fool you.

Thats my try - hehe wait to see them reproduced un-edited (maybe CAPITALIZED) on some fundie website.
Doubting Thomas
No, you're all wrong. The earth is flat with a dome-shaped sky, and giant pillars which holds up the firmament of heaven. The floodgates in the firmament open up and let the waters above fall to earth creating rain. The sun, moon, and stars move through the sky between the ground and the firmament. Below the ground is the nether regions where the devil lives.

I know it's true because I read it in the bible.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.
Bob of QF
Silly, DT you're wrong.

Whereas the word is a flat disc? It rests on the back of a star-faring turtle, A'Tuin who swims in interstellar space.

And the sun is just a small flaming ball, which orbits the disc slowly.

I know this is true, because I read it in more than 30 books.
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes

Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing.
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