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The Boobs I Was Not Supposed to See
Kowboy
My English class assignment is anecdote. This is my rough draft:

From early adolescence, most heterosexual males develop a fascination with female breasts and I am no exception. Society sends men and boys mixed signals when it comes to boobs. Women donít usually appear publicly in their bras, but wear swimsuits which are just as revealing or more so. Women wear low-cut tops exposing their cleavage which leaves men in the delicate position of having to look but not stare and, if they do, at least not get caught. Even women like other womenís boobs according to Helen Gurley Brown, the editor of Cosmopolitan magazine, which explains her choosing consistent cleavage covers.

I like magazine boobs and live cleavage, breast and toe alike, and Iíd be lying if I said I didnít like the Girls Gone Wild videos and taking in an occasional pole dance or two. However, nothing comes remotely close to the thank-God-Iím-a-guy appreciation of seeing boobs I was not supposed to see. Itís like finding buried treasure. Once Iíve seen them, they are recorded forever in my mind, like burning a compact disc. If Iím feeling blue I say to myself, ďHey, letís play the boobs CDĒ and I feel better instantly.

My boob CD starts when Iím gassing up my car in Perrysburg, Ohio, in 1982. A well-endowed young woman at the adjacent pump bends over her big old Pontiac. As she pumps her gas, her sweatshirt falls open and braless, there they are. Like a man dying of thirst, I took a long appreciative drink then turned my head away thinking ďI just canít stand here staring at her boobs.Ē Then I said, ďThe hell I canítĒ and watched until she finished, none the wiser.

Thatís just the preview on my boob cd. The feature presentation happened over a decade ago at my condo on the Maumee river where I had my boat docked out back. My mom, my wife and I were going to go out, but the prevailing winds had blown all the water into Lake Erie. With my boat stuck in the muck, we enjoyed a drink on the boatís deck and watched as my neighbor, Grace, and her girlfriends attempted to navigate back to their adjacent dock. They had left before the water blew out but were certain to run aground.

Always the helpful neighbor, I grabbed a rope, walked up my dock, across the lawn and down Graceís dock. As expected, Grace and her girlfriends were stuck. Grace climbed onto the bow of her boat and anticipating my rope throw she raised her arms, making her tube top slip down, exposing her large perfectly maintained former Miss Michigan breasts in the bright summer sun. Not surprisingly, my first throw went wide and she missed it.

As Iím recoiling the rope and savoring my good fortune my wife walks down the dock, takes in my view, and in strict compliance with the Woman Code, shouts ďGrace!, Grace!Ē while making pull-up-your-top motions with her hands. Immediately breaking her concentration on my impending second rope toss, Grace whirls around subsequently flashing her girlfriends which they find hilarious before restoring her girls to the tenuous protection of Spandex.

Grace catches the rope the second time and I haul them in. ďThis will just be our little secret, wonít it Joe?Ē she asks. ďOf course, Grace. Of course.Ē
 
Skeeve
Nice story, let us know how you do.
"The world is my country, and do good is my religion." - Thomas Paine
 
JohnH
I must be in the minority. I once got in a little bit of trouble with a girlfriend, who was somewhat full bodied, by saying that I was not much attracted by boobs.

I was reminded of this last night when I had a bit of trouble keeping my eyes off a woman who was tall thin, small breasted and small hipped.

It reminded me of years ago in Oakland when I simply could not keep my eyes off of a woman behind the bar, just down the street from my house. She had no breasts to speak of nor hips. The fact that she was absofuckinglutely gorgeous may have had something to do with it. Unfortunately I only saw her the one time. If I had seen her more times I may have made a play on her even if she was young enough to be my daughter.
 
Theory_Execution
At the very tender age of 5 maybe as late as 8 I had a fascination with boobs. A tabloid paper in the UK carries a semi nude image on the third page (Page 3 pin-ups) and has done so for longer than I have lived.

I would steal these page 3 images and stash them away in a place I thought noone would ever find - between the three or four books I had on the bookshelf above my bed. Needless to say, after about two weeks, they were found. The story is brought up every now and then.

Yet, as I have grown, what was my appreciation for the fuller figured, middle aged lady (30-45) has developed into a fascination with the tighter figured, smaller breasted late teen to early adulthood (19-28).

I would describe myself as an ass man, in that I think a woman's behind will indicate her general health, much better than a pretty face or a good pair of knockers could.
 
Bob of QF
Aaaa... the mammaries memories of a miss-spent youth...
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes

Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing.
 
seeker
Boobs, they are the only things I can think of that are named for the way they make men act.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
 
catman
It's too bad the television isn't really the 'boob tube'. Althought I'm an ass and leg man myself.
 
Kowboy
I got an "A" on this one.
 
JDHURF
I can't believe you turned that in as an assignment. There's something undeniably tantalizing about accidental slips. It is similar to the way people will desire something all the more the more they are not supposed to have that something. Alcohol was so much more glorious before being of legal age, for example.
 
Kowboy
JDHURF wrote:

I can't believe you turned that in as an assignment. There's something undeniably tantalizing about accidental slips. It is similar to the way people will desire something all the more the more they are not supposed to have that something. Alcohol was so much more glorious before being of legal age, for example.


JDHURF:

Not only did I turn it in and get an "A", but the instructor's female assistant and the female instructor suggested I change the title to "My Boobs DVD" and I did. The instructor commented on my paper that I addressed the topic without becoming "vulgar".
 
Skeeve
Nice job, Kowboy! I'm looking forward to your next assignment.
"The world is my country, and do good is my religion." - Thomas Paine
 
cheshiredragon
EH, ignore JDHURF, he thinks he is some supreme being...


I am looking forward to seeing the assignment!
...boobs and all! Smile
That's right, I said it...
 
catman
How times have changed! It wouldn't have gone over too well to turn something like that in when I was in college. (Unfortunately.) Perhaps that was what JDHURF was alluding to.

I prefer seeing seeing uncovered boobs that I'm supposed to see, since the real fun then ensues. I fear that those days are in my rear-view mirror (pun intended).
 
Skeeve
Damn liberal colleges! Shock
"The world is my country, and do good is my religion." - Thomas Paine
 
JDHURF
I'm not sure how being surprised that someone turned in a paper about nipslips constitutes being a supreme being. I sure would like that explained. w/e
[img]http://www.atheists.org/images/headerLogo.png[/img] is not a valid Image.
 
Bob of QF
Kowboy wrote:

I got an "A" on this one.


At the very least: it was very well done.

Short, not overly wordy, got the message across delicately, with a consistently humorous tone.

I enjoyed reading it immensely-- easily as good (or better) than many short-shorts I've read by "professional" writers in magazines.

You may just have discovered another source of modest income.

Grin
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes

Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing.
 
cheshiredragon
Then dont worry about it. what i meant by supreme being is you act like you know everything and critisizing his assignment on top on top of it. I am in rehab now so you will have about 30days to think it over. excuse the typos, i am on my phone, they wont allow laptops in here.
That's right, I said it...
 
Hypatia
Kowboy wrote:

My English class assignment is anecdote. This is my rough draft:

From early adolescence, most heterosexual males develop a fascination with female breasts and I am no exception. Society sends men and boys mixed signals when it comes to boobs. Women donít usually appear publicly in their bras, but wear swimsuits which are just as revealing or more so. Women wear low-cut tops exposing their cleavage which leaves men in the delicate position of having to look but not stare and, if they do, at least not get caught. Even women like other womenís boobs according to Helen Gurley Brown, the editor of Cosmopolitan magazine, which explains her choosing consistent cleavage covers.

I like magazine boobs and live cleavage, breast and toe alike, and Iíd be lying if I said I didnít like the Girls Gone Wild videos and taking in an occasional pole dance or two. However, nothing comes remotely close to the thank-God-Iím-a-guy appreciation of seeing boobs I was not supposed to see. Itís like finding buried treasure. Once Iíve seen them, they are recorded forever in my mind, like burning a compact disc. If Iím feeling blue I say to myself, ďHey, letís play the boobs CDĒ and I feel better instantly.

My boob CD starts when Iím gassing up my car in Perrysburg, Ohio, in 1982. A well-endowed young woman at the adjacent pump bends over her big old Pontiac. As she pumps her gas, her sweatshirt falls open and braless, there they are. Like a man dying of thirst, I took a long appreciative drink then turned my head away thinking ďI just canít stand here staring at her boobs.Ē Then I said, ďThe hell I canítĒ and watched until she finished, none the wiser.

Thatís just the preview on my boob cd. The feature presentation happened over a decade ago at my condo on the Maumee river where I had my boat docked out back. My mom, my wife and I were going to go out, but the prevailing winds had blown all the water into Lake Erie. With my boat stuck in the muck, we enjoyed a drink on the boatís deck and watched as my neighbor, Grace, and her girlfriends attempted to navigate back to their adjacent dock. They had left before the water blew out but were certain to run aground.

Always the helpful neighbor, I grabbed a rope, walked up my dock, across the lawn and down Graceís dock. As expected, Grace and her girlfriends were stuck. Grace climbed onto the bow of her boat and anticipating my rope throw she raised her arms, making her tube top slip down, exposing her large perfectly maintained former Miss Michigan breasts in the bright summer sun. Not surprisingly, my first throw went wide and she missed it.

As Iím recoiling the rope and savoring my good fortune my wife walks down the dock, takes in my view, and in strict compliance with the Woman Code, shouts ďGrace!, Grace!Ē while making pull-up-your-top motions with her hands. Immediately breaking her concentration on my impending second rope toss, Grace whirls around subsequently flashing her girlfriends which they find hilarious before restoring her girls to the tenuous protection of Spandex.

Grace catches the rope the second time and I haul them in. ďThis will just be our little secret, wonít it Joe?Ē she asks. ďOf course, Grace. Of course.Ē


Another very good, pleasant write that brought a smile across my face several times. Absolutely I can see how 'the ones you weren't supposed to see' would be some of the best. Well done Kowboy.

Even women like other womenís boobs according to Helen Gurley Brown, the editor of Cosmopolitan magazine, which explains her choosing consistent cleavage covers.


From my female POV I have occasionally seen other female chests that I thought were very well packaged - not in a way of being sexually attracted to them, but simply from a standpoint of admiring a nice looking body. But so help me, when I see a lot of cleavage what it looks like to me is a pair of butt cheeks attached to a woman's chest. I must be the only one who see's that, and for the life of me I've not been able to see past that - it just looks like a big 'ol butt riding around on a chest. *shrug*.

Smile
 
JDHURF
I know what you meant by supreme being, but I don't see how that relates to this thread. All I did was voiced surprise that he would turn in a paper on NIPSLIPS for homework. That is surprising. I didn't criticize it. Show me where you think I criticized it.

I'm not sure where this animosity you have towards me comes from. I can't remember any bad blood. I can only recall us getting along. I don't recall any heated arguments.

In any case, I am most certainly not a supreme being and I most certainly do not know everything and I'm not sure what would give you the impression I thought otherwise.

I remember sharing stories and poems with you about drug use. I hope the rehab works out for you and I hope you find your zen in there and calm down.
[img]http://www.atheists.org/images/headerLogo.png[/img] is not a valid Image.
 
seeker
Calm down JD, she was probably just making a joke. Here, I'll burn some incense in your name.Wink
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
 
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