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Missing Cock
Hypatia
A priest in a small Irish village loved the chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church.

One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his parishioners in the church.

During mass, he asked his congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"
All the men stood up.

"No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"
All the women stood up.

"No, no, that wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up.

"No, no, no. That wasn't what I meant. What I really mean is, has anybody seen MY cock?"

Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.



~*~




Apparently far more churches than anyone ever realized keep chickens.
 
cheshiredragon
HAHAHA reminds me of that new Exorcist movie. The one where a woman hires the devil to pull a priest out of her son.
That's right, I said it...
 
catman
Hilarious! Rofl Thanks for that one. I must commit it to memory.
 
Theory_Execution
I seriously thought this was going to be a thread started by one of the mainly heterosexual women or mainly homosexual guys of the website haha.
 
cheshiredragon
You should know that a woman with a dirty mind is awesome! There is one in the next desk over where I work and a homosexual one that sits behind me. The conversations we have could easily get us fired or slapped with a sexual harassment suit, but good times yes, good times.
That's right, I said it...
 
Theory_Execution
That is the risk nowourbutnottheirsbutmaybethoseovertheresdays.

I believe the deciding factors are primarily the one doing the harassment must be in a superior role of the organizations managerial structure - or it must be many comments from many individuals to a single person or group.

The short job I had before my current one was sat doing data entry on a bank of computers, six or so computers per large table. My table was all women, so they would turn up the banter and tease.

Ha, just remembered, one of the women said she had a friend with a glass eye, who was also a lady of the night. And this friend had been asked to take out the glass eye and let her John have his way with it. - Those people exist.
 
cheshiredragon
Hmmm, I guess there are 'skull fuckers' out there. Good to know I suppose.

As for the harassment, there are LARGE grey areas. In your situation, I wouldn't mind it at all. However, turn it around and you have a victim. I have always found sexual harassment to be rather bias. If your lady coworker happened to be a male saying that then it probably would have taken a different route then just a few giggles. I know that here in the states that even if someone overhears a conversation that they are uncomfortable with(sports, politics, religion and the like) , they can go to a manager or HR and get the harassment book flying.
I think the most vulgar conversation that Anise, Chonda(she goes by the name Shawn) and I have ever had was about a guy in the news that was masturbating on an airplane. I chimed in, "Well damn I could at least hold back until I got to the cab." Big laughs ensued. I really think it is all in how close you are and how well you know the people you are having a conversation with.
That's right, I said it...
 
Theory_Execution
Very much so Chesh... and I sort of agree about the sexist bias, BUT, there is a guy taking Britney Spears to court, claiming she sexually harassed him.

Be very interesting to see how that turns out.
 
cheshiredragon
*sigh* Yeah, if it was Olga the Bus Driver then he would have changed his bus route, but Britt Spears has money. I smell greed as a driving force in this one. However, I would like to hear how that goes too.
That's right, I said it...
 
Theory_Execution
I agree totally with you, but who knows maybe he genuinely suffered.
 
cheshiredragon
True. Even though I don't like Brittany Spears, if she touched me something dirty I'd probably dive right into that roast beef looking vagina of hers.
What can I say? it has been a LOOOONG time since I was last laid...just about anything sounds good at this point.










So...who threw up in their mouth on that one?
That's right, I said it...
 
Theory_Execution
Her early career I was interested, but the whole mentally unstable, shave off hair, have kids thing put me off.
 
Hypatia
My joke repertoire seems to usually consist of mostly or all xxrated... Shrug

Don't have much right now though and the first two kind of lean toward the juvenile side, but oh well. I think the last one has probably circulated for a long time now.

The wife told me to go to the doctor and get some of those tablets that "help" get an erection.
You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills!
I am still looking for a place to live.


The secretary saw her bossí pants zipper open.
She tells him: "Sir your garage door is open."
Boss: "Did you see my Ferrari?"
Secretary: "I saw a small scooter with two flat tires."


Idle thoughts of a wandering mind during

....I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it

....I had amnesia once -- or twice.

....Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

....All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

....If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

....What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

....They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.

....Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

....One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

....My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

....I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

....The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

....How can there be self-help "groups"?

....Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

....Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
 
Bob of QF
LOL!

Thanks for the laughs.
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes

Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing.
 
cheshiredragon
Hypatia wrote:
....Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?


OMGravy! That one was so bad it gave me cancer! It reminded me of that Nick and Jessica episode where she asked if the Tuna in Chicken of the Sea was really chicken.

The one I really liked was the protons, but I am changing it to Atoms. Speaking of I got my first tattoo and it is an Atom(minus the nucleus) on my left-inner wrist.(yeah, yeah...BIG time NERD gone THUG Pfft) It's late so I will get the pic off of my phone and post it later.
That's right, I said it...
 
Theory_Execution
...it is an Atom(minus the nucleus)...


You have a cloud of electrons then?
 
cheshiredragon
Go look at my wall photos on FB Pfft You will see it there.

Merged on 02/27/2012 00:30:
errr, You, T_E, can see it in my mobile uploads folder...

for everyone else:

[img]http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n195/cheshiredragon/404502_251829694894790_100002032854004_578414_184610977_n.jpg[/img] is not a valid Image.


I am designing several more to gain an entire sleeve on my left arm. All scientific and scientifically accurate too Smile
I will add them in a thread as I get them, instead of hijacking a threads Pfft

Back to the missing COCK, hahahah
Edited by cheshiredragon on 02/27/2012 01:30
That's right, I said it...
 
catman
A missing nucleus and arm hair! What more could one ask? Grin
 
Theory_Execution
What does it mean though Chesh?
 
cheshiredragon
It is simply my love for science. Atoms were here at the beginning of the universe and will be here until its end.
It is a Lithium atom and most likely I am going to put in the nucleus next time around. As I go up my arm I am going to go in an evolutionary pattern. Hard to explain, but once I get more done you will see what I mean Smile

Oh and, catman...this camera on my phone really enhances my body fur. My fur is actually really light and not so thick. It may have been the light it was taken in too.
That's right, I said it...
 
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