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The Pope's Visit
catman
I got this joke from Pretty Good Joke Book by Garrison Keillor. It cracked me up, so I thought I'd post it:

_____________________________________________________________
The Pope is visiting town and all the residents are dressed up in their best Sunday clothes. Everyone lines up on main street hoping for a personal blessing from the Pope.

One local man has put on his best suit and he's sure the Pope will stop and talk to him. He is standing next to an exceptionally down-trodden looking bum who doesn't smell very good. As the Pope comes walking by he leans over and says something to the bum and then walks right by the local man.

He can't believe it, then it hits him. The Pope won't talk to him, he's concerned for the unfortunate people: the poor and feeble ones. Thinking fast, he gives the bum $20 to trade clothes with him. He puts on the bum's clothing and runs down the street to line up for another chance for the Pope to stop and talk to him. Sure enough, the Pope walks right up to him this time, leans over and says, "I thought I told you to get the hell out of here."
"If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas." - General Sheridan
 
cheshiredragon
I heard this in a stand up act. I have never seen Garrison Keillor but, i have heard the stand up. it is a guy and a woman telling jokes and I think the best ones they have are in a skit named: "3rd grade jokes" Hilarious

I only remember two:
What is yellow and always points North? A magnetic banana
What do cheeleaders drink? ROOT beer

they are so lame they are funny. They do have others that make you think and some pretty funny yo mama jokes but, my brain fails me to recall them...as always
That's right, I said it...
 
catman
I like silly one-liner jokes too.

Q: What is green and lives at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Moby Pickle.

There are millions of them.
Edited by catman on 04/06/2009 01:09
"If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas." - General Sheridan
 
RayvenAlandria
It's catman's fault, he brought up pickles.


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Doubting Thomas
Only I heard it as: What's pink & lays at the bottom of the ocean? Moby's Dick.

Or, what was found in Olivia Newton's john? Gomer's Pile.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.
 
Hypatia
catman wrote:
I got this joke from Pretty Good Joke Book by Garrison Keillor. It cracked me up, so I thought I'd post it:

_____________________________________________________________
The Pope is visiting town and all the residents are dressed up in their best Sunday clothes. Everyone lines up on main street hoping for a personal blessing from the Pope.

One local man has put on his best suit and he's sure the Pope will stop and talk to him. He is standing next to an exceptionally down-trodden looking bum who doesn't smell very good. As the Pope comes walking by he leans over and says something to the bum and then walks right by the local man.

He can't believe it, then it hits him. The Pope won't talk to him, he's concerned for the unfortunate people: the poor and feeble ones. Thinking fast, he gives the bum $20 to trade clothes with him. He puts on the bum's clothing and runs down the street to line up for another chance for the Pope to stop and talk to him. Sure enough, the Pope walks right up to him this time, leans over and says, "I thought I told you to get the hell out of here."


Snicker. I've heard that one before, but it's funny again. *grin*
 
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