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Fun with Door Knockers
Bob of QF
Today, a couple of little old ladies were knocking up doors, in an effort to spread their brand of Hate Mail (the Jesus(tm) brand, complete with Evil Bible).

I was in a mood, from fighting the piss-poor technology that brings my cable interwebs into my house. <eyeroll> (I live in an older neighborhood, and the cable is old, too few customers to upgrade it, so it gets patched over and over and.... gotta love market-driven...)

So.

When I saw it was clearly a couple of Jesus-haters beating people's doors to raise money for their hate-cult, I let'em have it.

"Are you bible-worshipers"?

"what?"

"Do you believe the bible is true?"

"Oh, Certainly!" <eyes brightened>

....

It went downhill from there: I asked them why their god murdered all the worlds babies (Noah's flood).

"Oh, God didn't do that!"

"Then the Flood did not happen?"

"Oh, but it DID!"

"Then your god murdered all the world's innocent babies."

"God is Good!"

"How is the murder of innocent babies good?"

"God wouldn't murder babies."

"Then the Flood is myth?"

"Oh, no, the flood happened."

"Explain, then, how the murder of the innocent babies is GOOD?"

"Their parents were evil!"

"What? How is it just to murder the babies to punish the PARENTS?"

"Who would raise the babies?", they asked

"Why couldn't your god send angels to raise them...is he not powerful enough?"

--- here it got weird----

"Oh, but the Angels is WHY people sinned in the first place!"

"What?" says I, "What about free will?"

"Oh free will is true!" they cry...

----------

It went around and around pretty much like that: I would ask them a reasonable question, and they would "answer" with "god is good".

Finally, I asked for an example of "Loving God" in the bible.....they both paged through, but neither had ANY examples....!

Imagine that....!

Eventually, they had to go-- one asked for my name. I refused, citing that I was afraid they might tell someone, and THEY would tell someone and next my house is burnt down....I referenced the abortion doctor murdered by a GOOD CHRISTIAN up in Kansas, and Pat Robertson saying the murdered victim "was God's Justice".

They were speechless at that one...

....and I shut my door.

I'm still laughing about the whole thing....
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes

Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing.
 
catman
Ha! Good story. I enjoy speaking with the Mormon kids who come around for similar reasons.
"If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas." - General Sheridan
 
Kallistie
Niiiiiice! Must remember that for the next time I get JWs.
 
Hypatia
Good for you Bob.

That's precisely what we need to be doing when these people come to our doors.

Now those people are probably lying in their beds, re-playing the scenario and knowing they weren't able to answer your questions. And what's more, they know you weren't just being a smart ass, really - your questions were totally valid.

Sure, it would be great to get them (all) to stop knocking on doors altogether, but what you did today goes a long way further, even if they never stop.

Fun for you, but don't you know they were sweating all the way through that? lol.

Gotta love it.




 
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